Family Practice

Growing up Catholic, one of the things that stuck with me very early on was the way people used the phrase "practicing Catholic". In my experience, when someone was described as a "practicing Catholic", it meant that they were at church on Sunday. I didn't encounter people using it to describe how a person manifested their faith outside of the metric of weekly attendance, though I imagine other people have used it in a deeper way.

When I came to Zen, I encountered the core practice of zazen. In this practice I came to see how my mind moved. How it created the texture and flavour of my daily life. I came to see a practice that was designed to bleed over into my daily life. In fact, one of my primary questions early on was how to make that happen. The standard response was to sit more.

When I started to find some stability on the cushion, not only did I get better at recognizing the patterns of my mind throughout the rest of my day and week, but other aspects of practice and training started to open up. Liturgy, sewing, committee work, these are things I could have done at any time, but to engage them as practice, well, that's the point, isn't it?

As an old hand in the community, I find myself with a lot of practice opportunities that help the Sangha flourish. When I use them well, then they help me flourish too. As Shuso in the midst of Ango, there is an extra imperative to dig in and show my practice to the community. This past weekend, it looked a little bit different. I stayed home on Sunday.

My family is very supportive of what I do. Especially Enmei. I don't have the words to fully convey my gratitude to my family. Their practice of support makes my practice with the Sangha possible. So, Kaishin needed to shift how he made his practice show up, because Dad had not been home on the weekends since the start of Ango.

To do this work, we have to show up. Rinsen pointed to that as well during Sunday's talk. To have equanimity, it has to be at our core. For our practice to show up, it needs to show up in our entire life. Not just when we are in the Zendo. Finding that balance is a live edge and we need to live into it without deluding ourselves.

Self care is real. Showing up when it's not easy is real. Mistaking one for the other is a kind of fraud that can hurt your life and your practice.

I practiced on Sunday. I practiced in the midst of laundry, chess, cuddling on the couch, service on Youtube, sewing, going for a walk and even a zoom meeting with Zuisei, Shokai and Enmei, just for good measure.